The Clumsiness Chronicles – 1 

Life with Buttery Fingers

Remember that character from everybody’s favorite childhood comic book Tinkle, Butterfingers? That kid who always dropped anything and everything he touched? (If you were not a fan of Tinkle at some point of your life then it’s because you are either not a 90s kid or because you were really uncool.) If I were to write an autobiography then my story would be, well, ditto. Dropping things is one of my many great, unfortunate skills.

It’s not so much as intentional dropping, but releasing involuntarily and prematurely, not to mention, dramatically. On an average I drop my phone at least twice a day, AT LEAST. On a rather sportive day, I play cricket, basketball and tennis with it. Every time I have to buy a new phone it’s always because the screen looks like Thor smashed his Mjolnir on my phone and never because of any software problems.

A strict reckoning of the objects I’ve almost annihilated in the past is paramount whenever I consider buying glass or ceramic or anything breakable. Coffee mugs don’t last more than two months, unless it’s placed on the shelf, for display only (I’m still mourning the loss of this pretty coffee mug I broke a couple of months ago).

What’s entertaining, though, is the very act of the object slipping out of my hand and wreaking havoc. It has ‘Final Destination’ written all over it. One moment I’m walking expertly, balancing four bottles in my hand, and the next moment they are jumping out of control like popcorn in a popcorn machine. Using somebody else’s phone almost gives me an anxiety attack knowing my history with phones. There was a time when the first scratches on my friends’ phones were directly or indirectly caused by me.

When I do prevail without dropping or destroying anything, I myself end up stumbling and falling down to keep up the daily score. Well, I guess I’ve got butter-feet too! If I didn’t know any better I would say the ‘The London Bridge is falling down’ rhyme is based on my life.

You would think knowing my clumsiness quotient – CQ (this should be a thing, or is it already?), I would have become really careful with how I handle things. Ha, if only you had seen me yesterday tossing my phone to the bed; it sliding past the edge of the bed and making an imperfect landing on the floor, and chipping off few more tiny pieces of what’s left of my screen.

Some people never learn, right?

 

PS : Don’t hold it against me for calling non Tinkle readers ‘uncool’. You are free to read anything you want to. YOU, are a butterfly.

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One thought on “The Clumsiness Chronicles – 1 

  1. Pingback: The Clumsiness Chronicles – 2  | It Happened Like This

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